Thursday, September 23, 2010


I’ve had restless nights for the past several nights. All I do now is cry, pray and write poems. I feel like I’m trapped in pain and helpless to do anything about it. Last night all I did was cry and pray; just talked to God as the tears run down my face. When I wasn’t doing that I would write a poem or try to do something; watch a movie, surf the web, etc. Nothing seem to work. I can feel my body so consumed in pain I feel numb. I socked the wall several times and felt no pain or minimal pain. At one point it felt like I was having a panic attack. I feel abandon, no longer important to her. We hardly even talk, my calls go unanswered and not returned. My instant messages go un-replied. I’m not important enough anymore to want to talk to me every chance she get like she use to a few weeks ago, now she’s dating someone so Raheem gets thrown on the back burner. All I get now is a “morning” instant message and that’s it for the whole day. The person she cared so much about, the person that was so important to her, now that she’s seeing someone its as if I’m nobody. I’ve been abandon and there’s nothing I can do about it but cry and write pathetic ass poems. Is this what people mean when they say love hurt? Cause I’m in a lot of pain right now. Even though I’m hurting from other things that’s going on in my life this right here is by far the most painful and is effecting me the most. All I do now is cry and try to find comfort in my tears…

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