Monday, June 21, 2010
I Woke Up Confused
I woke up a few minutes ago confused and dazed; not sure where I am or what time it was. I needed to sleep, I needed to not be in the now of reality for awhile, I needed not to think about anything i.e. her or cry so I slept. I played some mediation music (sounds of nature), closed my eyes and drifted off. The good news was I didn't dream about her, I didn't dream about anything. That nap felt really good perhaps too good because I was confused when I woke up. I wasn't sure what time it was or where I was and everything was a blur. For however long my nap was I was in a state of nothing-ness and it was peaceful. There was no emotions, nothing. Its hard to explain, it was just emptiness as I slept. No concept of anything, like someone turned my brain off and everything went black. Like I said, it was peaceful. The bad news is, its only momentary. I'm awake now, force to face reality and back in my state of sadness, state of pain and depression.... If only I could just sleep, sleep until the pain goes away.