Monday, June 21, 2010

Dreams of Her

I notice lately I’m having a lot of dreams about her and dreams of me fighting. For the past several night in addition to can’t stop thinking about her I would dream about her and those dreams would wake me up early in the morning. I normally don’t get eight hours of sleeping but not the little sleep I do get is shorten by my dreams. When I dream of her it isn’t a direct dream like I see her in the dream. It’s more like I see scenes of things and I know it represent her and what I’m feeling. So far I haven’t had a dream where she’s actually in the dream but all the dreams I’ve had in the past 3-4 night have been of her.

Sometimes I hear myself thinking about her while I sleep; not dreaming, there’s no pictures or talking in myself but actually thinking about her. My mind doesn’t stop dwelling on her even after I fall asleep. At night just before I pass out is the most intense, when I have all the lights, computer, tv is off my mind seem to go into overdrive and it doesn’t stop. Sometimes those dreams are accompanied by dreams of me fighting. One dream was me fighting off people who broke into my house and tried to blow it up. Another dream, I was in the army and I wanted to go fight some evil guy and last night I dreamt I was protecting a friend by fighting another person I know. Some of my fighting dream could be because I’ve watched The A-Team so many times. I could be trying to be like the characters of the movie.

As far as my dreams of her, I don’t know how to make sense of them. My mind can’t seem to escape her, I’m sad to say right now she has power over me. My friend gave me tips on what to do help with my dreams or rather help to not think and dream about her, but she says its all part of the healing process of going through a breakup. Its normal and something I have to face and go through to heal and get past this situation. Whatever it is, I’m in it, I’m consumed by it and whether I want it or not, whether I want to deal with it or not its here.

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