The only thing he hasn’t taken away from me of value is my health, life and sister. He’s taken everything else from me. He’s taken away her love for me, he’s taken me away from my home and the life I had back in LA. Some people get to show the one they love that they’ve change or do love them. I don’t even get that chance, I’m fucking stuck here powerless to do anything to win her back. When I return to LA it will be to nothing. He’s taken love away from me, he want me to return to absolutely nothing. Yet this shit is suppose to make me a better and stronger person and have a positive outlook on life. I really don’t see how taken all that I hold close is going to make me look at life positively. I’ll never understand why I go through the shit I go through, I’ll never understand why some people get the opportunities they get but I don’t. The simplest things in life is the most difficult things in my life, why? I’m alone once again in this world, I have no one to call my own.
By me being here I’m gaining one thing yet I’m losing something far more valuable, love. I’ve said it and I’ll say it again, I’m losing far more than I’m gaining since I’ve been here. I’ll never understand why I go through certain shit and I’ll never understand why my life has been so painful why can’t I be like everyone else, why can’t I find love and be able to hold on to that love like some people. God has taken everything from me except what I’ve mention, he’s left me alone, without love or faith in people. Why does he punish some of his children so harshly yet go easy on others? He’s taken love away from me so I’ve decided now to live my life without it, why seek something you won’t obtain especially when the journey prove so painful. It hurt, it hurt but I guess I’m strong so eventually I’ll get through this but I thought I would be forgiven and granted a second chance with the one I love. I was such a fool to think that, such a fool to have faith in love, to have faith in her, such a fool to have faith in the world. I’m with nothing so with nothing is where I shall stay.