Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Hiatus

I think for the remaining time that I’m here I’m going to continue to stay to myself except of course when I really have to interact or socialize with someone. I may conserve with one of two people occasionally but that’s about it. Once I return to LA I’m going to continue my hiatus and isolation. I can’t deal with people on an intimate level anymore, I can’t deal with people even on a casual level. I’m cynical, I think everyone is full of shit right now, not one to be trusted or way bother dealing with anyone when the outcome will likely be the same as this one. In a sense I’m going to completely cut my interaction and socialization with mankind down to only dealing with people when I absolutely have to. What I’m going through right now has completely turned me off from EVERYONE. I’m going in a cave and lock myself up, whether I heal from this or not; emerge as a beautiful butterfly I really don’t care. I simply don’t want to fuck with people anymore. I’ll vent with the outside world through these blogs and Twitter but since no one follow me on either one I don’t have to worry about corresponding with anyone. I’m in a lot of pain, I’m hurting really bad. I need to go somewhere and lick my wounds, I need to go somewhere and heal, I need to go someone mentally and as physically as I possibly can and alone. I’ve been here alone for a year, I was hoping to return to the life I left, the one I love but that world, that life no longer exists so I need to continue what I’ve already been doing for a year, be alone. I have to learn once again to find comfort and joy in complete isolation; there’s little of my past life that I’ll be returning to. So, I have to get use to being by myself again. I’ve already not spoken to 99.9999% of my friends and associates in a month and I think its best that I completely cut all ties with everyone and completely stay to myself. *LET THE HIATUS CONTINUE*

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