My Return

The past several days has been a change from the normal routine of the past almost two years. I receive word from the embassy that I’m approved to return to the U.S. In that one moment my life is suddenly changed. No more will I be in limbo, not knowing if I’ll be here permanently or when I can return. Now I know, I know that I can go home soon. I can begin the plan the life I want and plan how I will achieve the objectives I’ve set for myself. In that one moment, that one conversation on the phone I felt I was given a second chance at life. Those who know of my return are overjoyed with the exception of her, the most reaction I receive from her was, “Cool… you’ll return just in time for some fun in the sun.” We haven’t even spoke on the phone about it or her express her excitement. She was the one person I thought would be the happiest, but she’s the person that expressed the lease joy. The reality is the close I get to going home and once I get home it will be the beginning of the end for Dee and I, something I never wanted. I’m happy I can go home but it hasn’t sunk in as yet. Deep down I know I’m excited, this is something I’ve waited for and wanted for almost two years now to return home and be back in the place I call home. Now that I’m returning things have changed and is beginning to change. My mood is a bit lighter, I still get depress largely thinking about Dee and knowing that I will be alone once I return and also depress that I still have awhile here. I can and will endure but I’m itching to return. It has been so long, almost two years. So much has change in ways I never dreamed or wanted. It has been a very difficult journey and learning experience for me, I’ve shed countless tears and this experience in many ways have broken and put me on my knees. But at the same time I am a stronger and I hope a better person because of it. I have a lot of emotional healing to do and readjusting to make but its another journey in life that I must take whether I want to or not, but the good news is I get to go home. There’s no doubt that as the day and hour draw near my excitement will build to the point where I won’t be able to contain myself and I know once I touchdown on American soil especially Los Angeles and see my mom and sister I will cry. After two years I will finally get to go home…